It was February of 2007, we were waiting on the “stork,” aka the social worker, to arrive at our house and deliver our fifth child, a 3-week-old baby boy. Our other children were running in and out of the house impatiently waiting for the social worker to pull up, when all of a sudden they ran in and announced, “She’s here!”
It was by far the easiest “delivery” I ever had, but just as emotionally rewarding as the others. I will never forget pulling back the blanket covering the car seat and seeing that little precious, innocent face for the first time; it was instant love. The bonding started the moment I laid eyes on him, and continues as I write this with him snuggled by my side. I’m sharing our personal story of adoption during National Adoption month, because the need for adoptive families is huge and I hope to spread the word about this alternative adoption process.
We chose the Fost/Adopt program offered through the county for various reasons. The No. 1 being that in Orange County there are approximately 2,389 children in foster care, and approximately 20,650 in LA County. As you can see, there are a lot of children in our very own backyard who need forever families.
The other deciding factor was that our budget would not allow us to spend $20,000 plus, on a private adoption or out of country adoption. The Fost/ Adopt program is free, and that includes attending an orientation class, attending Fost/Adopt training classes, home study, and a social worker assigned to your case who supports you until adoption is final.
Another little unknown fact about a county adoption, that will probably surprise you (it did us), is that you can receive financial assistance through the Adoption Assistance program. It is the same financial assistance given to foster families that is extended to adoptive families. This is known as the Adoptive Assistance and Child Welfare Act of 1980, which was created to encourage foster families to adopt without losing the financial support they had been receiving.
There are two types of foster care within the county system. Foster care only families are for children needing temporary homes while trying to be reunitied with their birth families.
Fost/ Adopt families are for children whose situations will most likely lead to permanent removal from their birth families, which will make them available for adoption. “Most likely” scares people away since it’s not guaranteed; it is a risk, yet so is any other type of adoption. You have to have peace in your heart knowing that you are helping a child, no matter what the outcome is.
Our adoption of Jaden was final 15 months after he was placed in our home. During that time, our social worker made visits to check on his well-being. We also had to take him to visits with his birth parents, which were supervised by the social worker, and we were allowed to stay.
His birth parents did not want visits the first four months, and I’ll never forget the day the social worker called me and said they wanted to see him. I cried and cried because I just knew once they saw him, they would do whatever was required to gain back custody. Then ironically, I came home and cried for Jaden when they seemed more impressed with the little Vans shoes I dressed him in. County adoptions are not for the weak at heart, but it will prepare you for parenting, where only the strong survive!
Jaden is now almost 9 years old, and never ceases to amaze us with his wit, love of talking and never ending energy! Our son Garrett, the youngest before Jaden came into our life, is in his senior year of high school preparing to go off to college. On days that I’m feeling old and really tired, I think, “Wow, I would’ve been on the road to freedom!” Then I picture a very quiet house, no one asking about dinner, from full house to empty and I think, “How did this happen so fast?”
I’m stopped in my tracks, and ever so thankful to have a little buddy to run up and down the berm with, swim in the ocean, and have my heart burst with pride when someone clueless of our situation says, “He is your ‘Mini Me.’”
Please go to oc4kids.com to find information regarding county adoptions.
Lesley Rutledge is a resident of Island Village.
